You Can’t Flourish If You’re Holding On to B.S.

There’s a version of you waiting on the other side of letting go. And I don’t mean letting go of your planner or your meal prep schedule (though honestly, that might help too). I mean the deeper stuff, the quiet, invisible weight we carry that no one sees but we feel every single day. The guilt, the pressure, the unrealistic expectations we’ve placed on ourselves to somehow do it all and fix it all.

In this week’s episode, we dive into the power of release—the second step in my 3R Reset Framework. And let me tell you, this part? It’s tender. It’s real. It’s also life-changing.

Listen to the podcast here:

The Moment I Knew I Was Holding Too Much

There’s something I haven’t always been able to say out loud. Something that lived in the quiet corners of my heart during one of the hardest seasons of my life.

When my dad was fighting a rare and aggressive form of leukemia, I carried this deep, unshakable guilt. Not the kind you can easily explain—but the kind that settles in your chest and lingers. And it didn’t matter that he had the best doctors, that we were doing everything we could. We prayed, we researched, we asked the hard questions, we showed up… and still, I kept thinking, Maybe I should’ve done more.

Maybe I should’ve pushed harder.
Maybe there was one more expert I missed.
Maybe I should’ve seen something sooner.

Those thoughts haunted me long after he was gone. And it took years—honestly, years—to finally stop chasing those questions. To stop punishing myself with every “what if.” It wasn’t until I began to truly believe that I had done the best I could, that I started to feel something shift. Because sometimes, God’s answers don’t look like what we prayed for. And accepting that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving—it means you’re learning to trust.

Letting go of that guilt didn’t happen in one big, dramatic moment. It was slow. Gentle. But when it finally lifted, it created space—space for grace, for breath, for healing.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this… it’s that you cannot flourish when you’re still carrying what was never meant to be yours. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t hold on—it’s knowing when to release.

Why High Achievers Struggle to Let Go

You might wonder why some people struggle to let go, even when “letting go” seems like the obvious answer.

For many high achievers and perfectionists like myself, it’s not just about being stubborn or too busy (though that plays a role). It goes much deeper.

These individuals are wired to achieve, to take charge, to be the ones everyone relies on. There’s often an underlying sense of over-responsibility—this internal belief that success is entirely up to them.

They grow up learning—sometimes through praise, sometimes through pressure or pain—that if something doesn’t work out, it’s because they didn’t push hard enough, plan well enough, or do enough.

So we hold on. We carry the weight of things far beyond their expiration date. And somewhere along the way, we begin to believe that if we let go, we’re somehow giving up. That if we stop carrying it, we’re slacking. That releasing something means we didn’t care enough in the first place. And when the stakes are high—relationships, parenting, caregiving, business—we double down. We leave no stone unturned. We do all the things. Because doing less feels like failing.

But the hard truth is… that same mindset we’ve relied on to succeed? It’s also the one that quietly chips away at us. It leads to burnout, guilt, and that heavy emotional fatigue that whispers, “Keep going,” even when your soul is begging for stillness. It tricks us into thinking that struggle equals worth. That exhaustion is just part of the price for excellence.

But what if letting go isn’t weakness? What if it’s the very thing that creates space for healing?

I didn’t fully understand this until I walked through one of the most painful seasons of my life—watching my father battle leukemia. He had the best care, and we were doing everything we could. But after he passed, I carried this deep guilt. I kept replaying every moment, wondering if I should have done more, asked more, pushed harder. I couldn’t let it go, because some part of me believed I had failed him.

It took me a long time to finally accept the truth: I did my best. Truly. And no matter how much we want to control the outcomes, sometimes God’s answers aren’t what we expect or understand in the moment. Releasing that guilt didn’t mean I was abandoning my dad’s memory or the love I had for him. It meant I was honoring it—with honesty. I was saying, “I showed up the best way I knew how, and that was enough.”

Letting go didn’t feel like surrender. It felt like finally being able to breathe.

**What Release Really Looks Like**

Release doesn’t mean detaching from everything and walking away from your responsibilities. It means reclaiming your emotional and mental energy.

Here are a few things we might need to release—so we can grow again:

The guilt that whispers you should have done more.
The need to prove you’re worthy through performance.
The belief that you can’t rest until everything’s “perfect.”

We think letting go means losing something but in truth, it often means finding yourself again.

You’re Not Broken, You’re Just Out of Alignment

Let me say this with all the love I’ve got in me:
You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re not failing.

You’re just carrying too much of the wrong stuff. It’s time to release the guilt, the “shoulds,” the unspoken rules that tell you success only counts if you suffer for it. You get to flourish from a place of peace, not pressure.

And that’s exactly what we’re walking through inside my free workshop, The Flourishing Reset. This isn’t about hustle. It’s about alignment. It’s about pausing long enough to reflect, release, and reignite what truly matters.

🗓 Reserve your spot here — it’s 45 minutes of realignment, designed to give you your energy and clarity back.

A Gentle Invitation to Let Go

I’ll leave you with this:

What are you still carrying that you were never meant to hold? And what could your life feel like if you finally released it?

You’re not alone in this. I’ve carried guilt, shame, expectations, and stories that weren’t mine. But I’ve also learned that freedom comes when we’re willing to lay them down.

I want that for you, too. Let’s reset. Let’s release. Let’s flourish.